Before this, I always felt disappointed was something I will never really understand as I always look on the positive side of things and had faith that things would somehow turn your way in the end. But now, after last night, I left the comm hall feeling so disappointed, it was like losing the battle before the battle even started. I could literally just collapse onto the floor, losing all the support in my bones, feeling like there's nothing more I could do. I felt totally powerless for the first time, like all the life energy in your body was sucked dry and you could only just barely breathe to stay alive.

Moving on, I've been trying to finish tying all my lose ends before the exams come. Thus taking time away from my blog. A lot has happened, a lot more will. So for now, I'll just put everything in brief.

It started with Hall application, and the points issue. My friend had questioned me about joining comms and the purpose of it all. And of course what I would be joining next sem. I'm still confused and uncertain, as my studies are being affected. Which leads to the next issue, about how I had lost my touch and I'm just meeting the passing grade and not pursing the best of my ability. I know I can do that, but I have not the energy or vigor anymore. I have to find that back soon. Running the final lap is always hard, that's where the mental strength comes in.

Another friend of mine also what happened to the love story I was writing. Well, being so busy that I am, I have started losing interest or time on it already. I just feel that there are other more important commitments in my life right now than to ponder like a love sick dog on it. It's time to move on, and I've learnt that if you want it, don't wait, just do it.

Well, that was about a week ago. Now with the hall application results out, things have changed. Now, I'm considering changing rooms. Should I move up? Stay the same floor? How about my friends? Staying in the holidays? Or leave altogether?

Being weary as I am, I'm thinking of dropping everything and going home to have good proper rest. To have proper time to study and sleep right. It's all so tempting, with all the negative aspects showing in front me. The only time where it reminded me how fun and exciting Hall is is when we 'ponded' other blocks. It was totally what we're made of, and what we can pull off. However, other than that, I've seen things that I already had enough of. That staying here would only torment me even more. Tolerance can only go so far. I have gone that extra distance, now it's time to stop. I could see myself breaking very soon. And I can't imagine what I would become. If it ever happens, remind myself to hold me down.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE