I've never felt so rejected before.
But I was strong and held back my tears.
All the hard work was nought.
But at least I tried.
Now I know how they feel,
and that there's a second try.
I'll never give up,
until I win their hearts.
-That's a spur of the moment.

3.06am
I guess it's been sometime since I really elaborate my day. Think this is the time. The day started early, at 7am, for breakfast. My lecture was at 10am, but it's either I wake up early or not wake up at all. I chose to wake up early. I'd rather sleep in the lecture than regret not going at all. I had only slept for 2 hours, with the previous night spent on finishing my homework and also sorting out my notes and playing my missions on Dune.
I thought I would be zombie-fied for the rest of the day due to lack of sleep, but it wasn't the case. After breakfast, I manage to complete a tutorial which is due on Monday just before heading off for the 10am lecture. Amazing huh? I was amazed by myself, and boy the feeling is awesome!
Bringing notes to the lecture, which is rare for me, I manage to keep awake for the first half. Caught forty winks in the second half which I really needed as it would be non-stop action till 4pm. The lecture ended very close to 12pm, which annoyed everyone, and the lecturer was rushing in the end.
I rushed to Arts, where my friend had asked me to attend a musical by the Christian fellowship. Actually, it was because I needed her to check through my homework, and for that she wanted me to go, so I went. If not for that, I wouldn't be there in the first place.
I was kinda reluctant to go for these kinda things as people have asked me to go before and I knew they wanted to convert me, or at least let me see the good in it. I knew the good faith it has on you, but deep down, there's still something stopping me. Anyway, as I started watching the musical, I was impressed especially with the lyrics and music. Actually, I felt it was even better than KR production. Maybe it's because the theme was something I could relate to which made me enjoy it. But one thing that caught me was the assurance and strength it gave me.
The previous night, someone was talking to me about my plans for next sem, and how I couldn't tell her my decision due to the situation I'm in right now. For the past few days, I've been dragging myself through the things I had to do. Althought the job is done, it was done without satisfaction, it was done just for the sake of doing it. And how I kept telling myself the final steps are just ahead and fight a bit more and it will all end. I had run out of energy and I'm on my reserves now, predicting I would just hit empty tank just when I cross the finishing line.
I was really feeling down but yet not showing it. And the conversation that night made it all the more obvious. Then somehow, this musical came at the right time. It gave me hope and strength to stand up and walk again. Like giving me a direction and putting my priorities right.
Somehow I'd like to think that God had planned all this, but I would insist it's coincidence.
Again, it was a good wake up call. A word of thanks to my friend. I didn't mean to rush to get out, but I had my homework to settle which was first in my head at that point.
Rushing out to grab lunch and then writeup my homework, I met another friend who was going the same class. I had a tough time explaining to the tutor I had to come for this and not my usual later class due to a meeting in hall which I can't change. The class was ok since I knew a few of the people before coming.
Later in the evening, the all important meeting came. I was expecting resistance, but it turned out differently. I had hoped the debate would be on the programme I had spent so much time on, but it wasn't. The old foggies had other ideas, and tried to put it across to us. My friend who attended it too with me said they must have had these view even before seeing us and it was their chance to air their voices regardless whatever programme I came up with. I would believe it to be true. I left the room shattered and shaken.
Spent the rest of the night blasting music, cleaning up the room. My dad came to fetch me later at night for home. Took a few things back too. Guess it's time to tidy up a little for the final battle.
And before the night could come to an end, a good friend of mine from the US came online. Was chatting while typing this. Been a long time since I met him online. Think today was indeed and seem to be a turning point for me.
Time to move on....

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.