(Silence with only the fan buzzing)

The War was intense, swift, brutal. It all ended in a matter of days. All the high tension and suspense boiled down into two days of intensive, massive, bloody fighting in the streets, the buildings, and in the fields. Nonetheless, I lived to tell the tale. I’ve returned to Headquarters right after the last battle. The warriors were battered and exhausted, but relieved that the fighting was over for the day. Many knew that another day was ahead for them, and they had to move on. Others knew that battle was their last. I was one of them.
It was time for me to heal my wounds, to recuperate and refuel my spent resources. I spent a few days after that in Headquarters, tying up the paperwork and all. Although I recovered, nothing beats returning Home. It had passed midnight when I stepped into my room. Although everyone has slept, I could just feel their presence. It was a feel good feeling. It would always remind you that you can come Home and the troubles of the world would seem so far away.
Calling on old friends, the weekend is spent with them and to relieve those war stories again. Though it was fought just like yesterday, though it bloody and cold-hearted, I talk like a memory of long time ago.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

Feels kinda weird, this nothing to do feeling. When there's nothing to do, it feels weird. When there's something to do, u complain. "The grass is always greener on the other side."
With the exams over, it's finally on to other things. Think I'll start planning thing out tonite. looks set to be packed alreadi, but it good. Hopefully everything goes to plan and finally get a few things done in hols.

Till We Meet Again...

Back...
The tale isn't over, we still gotta wait to see what the results are. Nonetheless, my part is now over. 4 papers, 2 days back to back. Stress, determination, sadness, perserverance, depression, losing hope, finding hope again, knowing that feeling at the end of it all....
It's been a long week. Even Sunday didn't felt like Sunday.
Studies gone for now, on to other things...

'All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.'

Well, the time has come. The moment of truth. The exams are before us. I shan't write much. If you don't see me in a few days time, it means I'm dead. Any last words have been passed to all my friends, each knowing what a bit of me wants. So anyone doing a life story of me gotta go all the trouble of finding all of them to piece my life together.
That said and done, I shall take my leave.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

Throughout the whole day, everything was going to plan. And I was with high morale going into the night knowing that Monday's battle plan was almost prepared. Then came the Liverpool match, and everything spiralled outta control. No I don't feel like doing anything at all. The match was just like in those days where we were the worst. Makes me feel that way too now.
But we must not falter with just one defeat. The battle is lost, but the war is not over. And we shall live to fight another day. (damn this is what they should be feeling just now, not dejected and demoralised)

'They can take our lives, but they'll never take...
OUR FREEDOM!!!'

(Silence is golden)

This time, everything I'm studying is the last time I'm ever gonna see them. So if it goes in, it goes in and doesn't come out. No more time to understand, just know it. Gotta go back and fight for each of our own cause.

THIS IS A WAR AND WE ARE SOLDIERS.
WHAT IF THIS WAR COULD END TOMORROW?
ISN'T IT WORTH FIGHTING FOR?
ISN'T IT WORTH DYING FOR?

PS: Besides that, one point to note(this only occurs in blogs and not diaries), I only write so much because I only want to tell so much. More info is only given discretely and selectively. Furthermore, names will never be revealed in my blogs, it is to protect their indentities. You can get a feel of that if you see my other older blog site. (I can't believe I'm resorting to this.)

Been eating, sleeping and studying. That's about all. Will continue doing so until Tue.

(Delta Goodrem - Out Of The Blue humming in my head)

There's not much time liao. Gotta really go according to plan, can't cut corners or change plan. Must study and study only. Another day wasted, but caught the Leonids. Too bad I saw only one in like an hour I spent at the rooftop. Nonetheless, still worth while. Been some time since I caught a meteor. Hopefully Bintan will have better prospects.
Nothing much happening other than this, it's just sleep, study then sleep even more.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

(Listening to Delta Goodrem - Out Of The Blue)

It's been a long day. Moved back to hall just when I got my groove at home. Basically ran out of stuff to study. Cleaned my room a bit, then the usual happenings in hall. Seems that everytime I come to hall something must happen. And the bloody washing machine is down again. Seems like I gotta survive with like only 3 sets of clothes until the exams. Wished I could go back home again.
Time is running out and there's too much to cover. Gotta start more detailed planning or I'll be on the way to hell. Gone through this, been there done that, and I'm still in one piece.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

(listening to Class 95 as usual)

My friend once said that I coined this term. I kinda think so myself. But used only when people go do crazy stuff. Did a dedication tonight on Love Songs that was aired. My first I think, cos the last one I didn't know whether it was aired or not. Crazy thing to do? Doesn't sound like it, a dedication sounds normal, what's crazy is what's i nthe dedication. I don't think there's any implications, if not I'm being bombarded by now. Guess I'll have to see how it goes in a few days. I think it was alright, since I only do things that have low-level risk and I forsaw what was to come. I guess this time things are different from the previous one.
Anyway, today I seemed more focused in studying and I'm actually intending to write like this everyday to train up for the D-days ahead, especially for my SS module and its essays.
I'll keep it short today, tomorrow will be a long day ahead, I'll be moving back to hall to study, hopefully i can go overdrive there. Besides that, there's clothes waiting for me to wash and more cleaning up to do, if the ants come. That will be the worst case scenario, which I think will be. So I'm devoting my afternoon for it tomorrow.
Somehow, thinking back right now, I think it's just the stress that can amplify things which is happening right now. I still don't know. To stand by my principles or to give in to instinct?

The feelings running through my heart are many.
Don't know if I can feel any.
Can you choose a feeling to feel?
Or do you feel the things against your will?
Hopeless, helpless, not able to stop the feelings I feel.

(It Might Be You by Stephen Bishop humming in my head)

Just watched Tootsie. It's good and one of the best movies I've seen so far in the past months. Guess I needed it, good that I did the right thing. While watching it though, thoughts still run through my head. I'm like stuck in the middle and I can't get out of. Can someone tell me what is real? I really don't know what is happening to me. It's so weird.
The problem is this, just as I was watching Tootsie, I thought about her again. It's those thoughts, the very same ones I have back in JC, but now it's a different person. How can this be?
I can't believe it, but am I really feeling for her? From one point yes but consider this. Back in JC, when I was having my As, a major exam, I had the same things, the same feelings. Is it because of stress that led to these feelings or are they for real? Now that's the real dilemma I'm in. Forget what the other corner is thinking, I don't even know what I'm thinking right now.

SHEESH....

(Listening to Class 95, all awards weekend)

It's an impulse to write, but my computer's on a project, so I'm writing here. Started studying but thoughts still hang in my head. It's good to begin with a Liverpool win. On the studying front, looks steady at the moment, should be hitting deadlines once I go on overdrive. But what still hangs in my head is not studies, but what people feel for me and how I feel for them. Just that day that lunch, someone said something that has thrown me back into confusion. At first in the beginning I thought it was for fun, then it seemed serious, while my mind was focused on someone else. Just when it really felt serious, I did a litmus test thankfully and concluded that everything was for fun. But that lunch on a rainy day at arts changed everything again. I even dreamed about her that morning just before waking up. But yet I don't know whether should I advance or hold my line. Everything is blurred. On one side it's telling me one thing, on the other it's saying look at what's out there and what you've got yourself into.
As for the truth I was trying to tell. It was more or less my initial target, but as I got to know more and more, things weren't as easy even though I always wanted a challenge. I sat back even longer, trying to figure out the level playing field. The time was almost right, and a smoke screen, in fact a double smoke screen was there for the taking. I was still torn between which target to engage when the closest one got hit from outta nowhere. I kinda saw it coming but didn't paid much attention to it. There was actually time to salvage the situation or do damage control, but I figured out that doing it would mess up everything and kill my own chances and create a big story. Now, with the target almost taken down, all I can do is wonder why I didn't take it then and what would have happened if i had done it earlier. Then again, there are other targets to engage still. It's just a matter of pulling the trigger. My friend has done it and died, there are others who live to tell the tale. Somehow, I think I'm in a good position to survive. One that I don' think I've had before. But yet again, there's always the risk of playing with death right? There you have it. Saying it out feels so much better.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

Just finished my term paper, so that makes four modules left for the exams. Still got many things to do. Gotta start going overdrive from tomorrow onwards. Still can't imagine that the exams are less than 2 weeks away. Well, get everything order again, and start like what I always do.
As for the truth, I'll try to set things along the way. I want to get the pictures up first before telling my side of the story.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

All shall be revealed soon. Hopefully I'll get it done by tomorrow, but then again, there's a thousand and one things to do before I get that done. So we'll see. Overall, I'll try to get it done by the end of the week.

THE BOARD IS SET

Why did Liverpool lose?
Why must I always procrastinate?
Why must be so caught up with so many things?
Why do I need to sleep so much?
Why are things this way?
Why is the world spinning?
Why oh why oh why?

THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM

'It may be a long while before that happens again but it's a good omen to cling onto and dreams do sometimes come true. '
Something off an article on the Liverpool website after they won their Champions League match. Very hopeful, and morale boosting. It was a good positive win, setting the atmosphere and momentum and riding on a new wave.
I kinda feel like that, but yet at the same time trying to shed to old bad habits of mine. So now, it's kinda of in between. Hope transition would complete soon. But as what they say, riding on a new wave, better not let it go.
Nothing much to say today. Normal day as usual. Had our blk good luck supper, our last before the mugging and exams start. I'd better start to.

What if what I said wasn't true,
and everything was pulled over your eyes,
to blind you from the truth.
To give u sense of misdirection,
or a sense of assurance.

Was it what u wanted to hear?
Was it what I want u to hear?
Only I will only know.

The truth is out there,
it always is,
it's just a matter of where to look.
I will guide you soon,
but it'll be a long journey .
So stay put, be strong.
Stock up, pack up.
Cos we're going on a roller coaster ride.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

Suddenly I feel to drained out. Like being tapped dry to the bone. Everything I've been doing the past few days are just follow through, without contributing new ideas or solutions. It's more like get the job done can liao, then move on to other stuff. My days are still jam packed even though the comms are supposed to have closed. It's one thing after the other non-stop action. Think once I have time is to either sleep or study. Don't even have time to play games or talk cock anymore. Even writing this blog is squeezing it during half time of a soccer match.
Anyway, as what I've always tell myself, persevere and it will all end in good time. But now, I think at this rate, I'll burn out in a one or 2 days liao. So better get gd rest when i can, and study when I can.
Let me try my last few drops...

One thing leads to another,
From school to hall to love,
everything is just like the other.
Lines are blurred,
but thinking straight,
what is right, what is wrong.
What is black, what is white.
Everything's in shades of grey.
Never knowing when the rain clouds will go away.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

Just when u thought your day would end in total slaughter, it's always the hall activities that would cheer u up and make your day.
Today's halloween was indeed a success. I find also the best blk activity so far. Everything went well, even had the chance to try out blk d's route too. Felt they're just as good.
Other than that, it's a long week ahead again. Datelines to meet, test to study, lab reports to do...
I shan't spend more time here, gotta get back to work, even at this ungodly time.

ALL HOPE IS LOST,
BUT ANOTHER OPENS RIGHT NEXT TO IT.

All the studying.... at least I know how the mechanism works, just can't apply it. This time, I think there's no hope of even passing the test.
There's a long week ahead, so look forward to it. Look back a while, think what went wrong, and then get on with life. Always remind yourself that great people in science don't well in their studies.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE