Elaboration
Details are between the lines
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Long & Winding Road
4th March 2005. 3.03am
3rd March, 3rd Day, 3 Tests, 3 Posts.

What a coincidence isn't it. Finally got time to catch a breather and blog more here. There's more to come, but tonight is to stop and pick up the pieces and prepare fresh supplies to fight the next battle.
As for the road I treaded upon, lot is still unanswered. But now, all shall be answered right here, right now, in this entry. It'll be a long one, one which I can't finish in one night. So I'll constantly update it. No more new entries for now.

Glancing the time I started this entry, it registered 3.03am. How fateful can it be?

6th March 2005. 2.26am
Time to start catching up on my blog. Gimme a min while I read back what I need to elaborate....
Aahh... ok here goes. It quite a lot, but I think some things are still missing, but at least clearing the backlog begins. Hmm, let's see where to start??
OK, in no particular order...(i'll include the date don't worry, just go figure when)
Oh and by the way, a few rules. No names will ever be included, the most are abbrevations only.

The Storm Came & Went Part 2 (Sequel to Vday 2005)
(adjusting my laptop..) Let's start with this, cos it's the main thing so far.
After that day, we never talked for a few days. It was just that both of us were busy with our own stuff. After receiving some feedback, or none of it rather, I think it was time the truth had to be told.
Rewind a few days back, our comm was selling flowers for vday. She wanted to check with another comm member if I bought flowers for anyone, thinking she could find out if I liked anyone. That's because if u read my past blogs, I mentioned someone but not the name. But she had accidently messaged me about it. In reality, I didn't buy any flowers at all. As vday neared, I thought playing a prank on her might be a good idea, and wondered how she would react if that person was herself. So I thought about it for a while and went ahead with it, not thinking she might take it so seriously.
Foward back to 2 days after vday. I was kinda afraid the prank was going outta control, but now telling her the truth was the hard part. My friend who knew about this felt that she might feel I was playing with her feelings if I told her the truth. Another felt the truth had to be told. I was undecided on that Wed night. On Thur, I had only 3 hours to make or break.
Wed night, I was thinking to and fro the possibilities that might happen and how and what I had to do. The bottomline was, I didn't want a stupid prank kill a good friendship. I had almost lost one before, so I knew how precious it was to me. It was almost 3am plus, Thur was beckoning. Then like heaven sent, a third opinion came along in a form of a kind good friend. That opinion was what I needed to make my decision. I told him everything again from scratch.
This was what he said:
-buy her chocolate
-apologise empathetically
-just got to thick skin abit
-be a bit embarress never mind
-u were wrong but better to clear things up
-do it with a bit of humour to release some of the tension and embarressment
-never keep quiet
-the girl u like later hear abt it she also think twice abt the character u have
Well, he even help me how to explain the reason and all and how to put it across properly. I guess when it's comes to crunch time, you fumble on yourself.
So being prepared for everything, I caught some sleep, hoping that the best senario would work out.
D-day came, I rushed to check if she was around. Went to her room to talk to her. She said she knew all along I was joking, but still I clarified to make sure she knew what she said. I still have to make sure we're both thinking the same thing and not get the wrong idea across. Things rather went the same way as my friend predicted, so it was good. Thinking back, my friend was actually so spot on. Anyway, it was good the air was cleared, but from all this, I learnt a lot.
For the rest of the day, I was really relieved that she was alright. Spent the whole day thinking back how stupid it was and how it kinda came back to me instead.
Well, lessons learnt? A lot of them. Finally realise how much courage it takes to tell someone you like the person. Always knew u needed it, but now I know how much. Although it was just a joke, it's not easy to lie through you teeth. Second lesson, it takes a lot of effort to do things and to follow up on them. Made me emphasize the reason why I'm still single and more or less staying that way. Even if I wanna get one, I won't have time for it. Third, understand gals better how they feel and how they would react to such things. So in future, I'll be prepared to know what to do. So when that special gal comes along, I'll know what to do. Lastly, acting wasn't my cuppa tea, so maybe she played along and I was tricked myself to believe it. I thought she bought it, but in actual fact I was my bad acting. There were misunderstandings in between, but all is cleared now.
Guess it takes a joke on me to really find these thing out. At least it's better than finding it out from a real relationship. So I really have to thank all the people for putting up with me through all this crap, especially to you, the lady, and of course my friends who gave advice to me.
Moving on, you might wonder then who this person is instead if it's not her. Well, it's not just one person, but actually 2 that I mention often in my blogs. People who know me would know better who they are. But for the others, one's in hall and one's not.
The one that's not in hall, is the one I always look for when I look up into the sky at night. Why? Because I remember her through a constellation, and in doing so, when I see that constellation, I would be reminded of her and she would smile and look.
The one in hall, I shan't speak more because there's nothing to it really. The feeling has come and gone. She doesn't give me the same feeling that the former one gives me. That's why, although more distant, it's more worth fighting for. Thus I mentioned the herculean feat.

Any questions can be answered in the tagboard, which I believe are plenty.

A few more agendas.... but it's gettin late for now.
Penned at 2:26 am by nukescientist.
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