I was taking a break from studying when I decided to pay a visit to all the blogs in my bookmarks. And boy was it a lot. And so it inspired me to write one as well.

I know I haven't been writing regularly, mainly just occupied with my other stuff. But sometimes, I wonder at the back of my head whether the words I write would one day come back n haunt me. But after reading a few of my friends blogs, I begin to realise it doesn't really matter. And come to think of it, I've been writing in such complex text that even my best friends can't decipher it. So maybe I should tone done abit, and maybe open up my feelings more. Which comes to my next part...

Reading week is almost over. I'm more or less have gone into a regular routine. Sleeping in the day, waking up for lunch n sleeping till dinner, before going the long stretch of night, and being distracted now n then. I've the momentum going, it's just not going fast enough. Alright, after this post, should try to finish my evolution notes.

As usual, I've been sorting out stuff here n there, trying to find the right mood and environment to study, and i think i have done it. I manage to get class95 streaming without any lag. It's been months since I heard love songs at night. And the feeling is just great to heard smooth, relaxing music at night. If not for this, I was actually thinking of bringing a radio to hall.

I guess all this while, maybe it was the music, the right music, that was missing in my life this sem. Cos there were times which I really felt lost and not sure what was wrong, and I was just wasting most of the time away. Of course along the way, I tried to sort stuff which I'm been trying to sort since god knows when. Even my itunes which has most of the songs from class95 didn't help. It was like not altogether there yet. So with the right music flowing through my earphones, I feel focus for the first time. No more distractions, just do it. The rest of the world will have to wait.

When I mean the rest of the world, it's the stuff waiting for me after the exams. As usual, there's isn't a good break for me after the exams. I wonder what I get myself into sometimes. The comms, the holiday commitments, planning the future, etc etc. There's also people to meet, which will have to wait.

As for people, as i read some of the blogs, i realise a few things. I haven't had a good talk to some of them for quite a while, I haven't been really going out and enjoying myself for quite a while. I've just been so self-contained this sem, it's not like me. Must be me thinking too much again. Or maybe it's the thing that's been bothering me for a long while.

I decided to do something when i was in HK, but till now, it's yet to be done. I still wonder if it's the right decision, as I didn't expect the situation to turn out this way. It's long story, but long story short, this decision affected some things, and some how, I feel like i'm paying for it without even getting it done yet. But for now, it'll have to wait. And the holidays will remain unpredictable.

As for what it is i can't say. For it is something close to me and me alone. The agonising thing is not being able to share the problem with someone. If you think having major problems is bad, no being able to share them is worse.

So for now, I acknowledge to be a loner for the time being. My friends whom i have lost contact for a while, it is not me trying to distance from you or the work keeping us away, but rather i was trying to find myself, to see where i stand, and now, to mug for the exams. You might wonder about the people i mix with now, but you'll soon realise it was something i had to do. To put it in another way, it was neccessary.

With a better frame of mind now. Maybe this blog will get more attention.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE